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Hilarious quotes from all over the world about shopping, men and women, love and more

Read inspirational sentences, find gift ideas for customizable products and have fun while online shopping

Phrases that make you smile, about every possbile subjects. Funny texts, quotes and proverbs about shopping, kids, men and women and every possible topic that put a smile on your face.

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Christmas quotes

  • If a fat man put you in a bag at night, don't worry because I told santa I want you for Christmas
  • The best way to spread the Christmas Cheer, is to sing out loud, for all to hear
  • Dear Santa, I'm writing you to let you know that I've been very naughty and it was worth it
  • I'm dreaming of a white Christmas, but if the white runs out, I'll drink the red

Funny shopping quotes

  • I'm not a shopaholic, I'm helping the economy
  • Just let me shop, no one gets hurt
  • I could give up shopping, but I'm not a quitter
  • Keep calm and go shopping
  • Shortest horror story ever: 'Sold out'
  • When the going gets tought, the tough go shopping
  • Sweating while you shop counts as exercise
  • A woman has two problems: 1) nothing to wear and 2) no room for all the clothes
  • Whoever said that money can't buy happiness, simply didn't know where to go shopping
  • Cinderella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life
  • I feel like a failure, I've been shopping for 20 years and I still don't have anything to wear
  • Dear Lord, please don't let my boyfriend be home when all my online orders arrive. Amen.
  • Shopping beats therapy anytime; It costs the same and you get new clothes out of it
  • Marriage is a workshop where the man works and the wife shops
  • Save the earth, it's the only planet where you can buy chocolate
  • Work hard so you can shop harder

Funny Shopping Quotes and Texts


Online shopping

  • I love shopping for things online, because when they arrive it's like a present to me...from me
  • I love online shopping because it's frowned upon to be in a store with no bra, sweatpants and a glass of wine
  • Online shopping gives me a reason to live for another 3-5 business days
  • 2 things can change a women's mood online: 1) I love you 2) -50% discount
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