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Hilarious quotes from all over the world about shopping, men and women, love and more

Read inspirational sentences, find gift ideas for customizable products and have fun while online shopping

Phrases that make you smile, about every possbile subjects. Funny texts, quotes and proverbs about shopping, kids, men and women and every possible topic that put a smile on your face.

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Funny shopping quotes

Shopping is an ancient tradition and so are these sayings about it. Funny, humorous and sometimes hilarious shopping quotes done by shopaholics and shop lovers.

  • I'm not a shopaholic, I'm helping the economy
  • Just let me shop, no one gets hurt
  • I could give up shopping, but I'm not a quitter
  • Keep calm and go shopping
  • Shortest horror story ever: 'Sold out'
  • When the going gets tought, the tough go shopping
  • Sweating while you shop counts as exercise
  • A woman has two problems: 1) nothing to wear and 2) no room for all the clothes
  • Whoever said that money can't buy happiness, simply didn't know where to go shopping
  • Cinderella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life
  • I feel like a failure, I've been shopping for 20 years and I still don't have anything to wear
  • Dear Lord, please don't let my boyfriend be home when all my online orders arrive. Amen.
  • Shopping beats therapy anytime; It costs the same and you get new clothes out of it
  • Marriage is a workshop where the man works and the wife shops
  • Save the earth, it's the only planet where you can buy chocolate
  • Work hard so you can shop harder


Climate and climate change is a hot topic with much debate. Read some funny quotes and inspirational messages about how other people look at this subject.

  • Keep the earth clean, it’s not uranus
  • Humans are the only creatures on earth that will cut down a tree, turn it into paper, then write ‘save the trees’ on it
  • The sun shines brighter than our future
  • Caring for the earth is not a hippie thing, it’s a survival thing
  • A nation that destroys its soils, destroys itself
  • The movement to address climate change is about something deeper than justice, it’s about solidarity, human solidarity
  • It’s easier to call vegans crazy than it is to question your morality
  • Stop fighting about who created the world and start fighting against the people who are trying to destroy it
  • Earth is what we all have in common
  • There is nothing more frightful than ignorance in action
  • To damage the earth is to damage your children
  • Someone is sitting in the shade today, because someone planted a tree long ago
  • If you really thing the environment is less important than te economy, try holding your breath while you count your money
  • The best time to plant a tree was twenty years ago, the second best time is now
  • The greatest threat to our planet is the belief that someone else will save it


Quotes about clothes? Yes, because with the right clothes you can look better, but you need the right texts to reply to all the lovers and the haters about your style.

  • Always dress like you're going to see your worst enemy

Christmas quotes

Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year and that shows in all the funny texts and quotes about all the different Christmas traditions.

  • If a fat man put you in a bag at night, don't worry because I told santa I want you for Christmas
  • The best way to spread the Christmas Cheer, is to sing out loud, for all to hear
  • Dear Santa, I'm writing you to let you know that I've been very naughty and it was worth it
  • I'm dreaming of a white Christmas, but if the white runs out, I'll drink the red

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Read funny sayings about enemies. You've got friends and people who are not your friends and then you've got enemies. Luckily, you can laugh with them, about them with these sayings.

  • Always dress like you're going to see your worst enemy


Kids are an inspiration for everyone. They don't hold back and speak up regardless who's in front of them. Read the funniest quotes about kids.

  • Good moms have sticky floors, dirty ovens and happy kids
  • Always dress like you're going to see your worst enemy


Moms are the most wonderful people in the world. They care, they love, they clean, they cherish, they make jokes and they are always there for you. Read the most inspirational, thankful and grateful (and humorous) qoutes about moms.

  • Good moms have sticky floors, dirty ovens and happy kids
  • Music is not in the notes, but the silence in between


Many songs have got lyrics, some more poetic, others more funny. Read the nice sayings about all the different aspects of music and making music.

  • Music is not in the notes, but the silence in between

Miscellaneous one-liners

  • Jokes about communism have no class
  • There are three types of people, those who can count and those who can't
  • The flat-earth society has members all around the globe
  • I went up to the airport information desk and asked how many airports are there in the world?

To be expected

  • Chat-up lines
  • Christmas quutes
  • Fix lines
  • Friendshiop quotes
  • Opening lines
  • Pick-up lines
  • Valentine's day quotes

Do you know more quotes and sayings?

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Funny Shopping Quotes and Texts


Online shopping

Online shopping has taken off to never land again. The online shopping world is slightly different then the average brick-and-mortar store around the corner, which reflects in different sayings and quotes.

  • I love shopping for things online, because when they arrive it's like a present to me...from me
  • I love online shopping because it's frowned upon to be in a store with no bra, sweatpants and a glass of wine
  • Online shopping gives me a reason to live for another 3-5 business days
  • 2 things can change a women's mood online: 1) I love you 2) -50% discount

Do you know more quotes and sayings?

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Contact: Do you have any funny tips and suggestigons? Please send an e-mail to reactions [at]