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Funny miscellaneous one-liners and sayings about every topic you can imagine.

Every person has a sense of humour. Whether or not it is visible, is to be rated by the people around him or her. But with the written words or spoken texts on this page, you can imagine the level of success. The best way however, is not to be humourous on purpose, the best lines, texts and sentences are noted during regular day-to-day conversations. Enjoy

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  • Water is the essence of life. Except for coffee. Coffee is also the essence of life.
  • I'm on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
  • People who don't understand your silence, will never understand your words
  • A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort
  • It's your race and yours alone, others may run it with you, but no one can run it for you
  • Happy are those who take life day by day, complain very little and are thankful for the little things in life
  • If you aim at nothing, you’ll hit it every time
  • Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice
  • A cop pulled me over and said ‘papers’, I said ‘Scissors, I win!’ and drove off
  • I really think tossing and turning at night should be counted as exercise
  • My heart says chocolate & wine, but my jeans say, for the love of god woman, eat a salad
  • Thank god I don’t have to hunt for food, I don’t even know where taco’s live
  • Not to get technical, but according to chemistry alcohol is a solution


  • I official resign from adulthood, decisions will be made using the eenie-meeni-minie-moe method and arguments will be settled by sticking out my tongue


  • Angels are often sent as friends
  • No matter the weather, best friends always stick together


  • No matter how hard life gan get, go to bed grateful for all you have


  • I'm retired, I was tired yesterday and I'm tired again today


  • I'm not weird, I'm a limited edition

Funny texts, humorous sayings, old proverbs and witty rhymes and poems

Read all kinds of funny quotes, one-liners, proverbs, sayings and wise old texts that contain humour and valuable life lessons.


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